Fog Rejuvenation

Yesterday, after walking around in the 90+ degree heat and impossible humidity, I decided to avail myself of the ‘beauty salon’ at the Metropole. Just off the spotless new lobby on the way to the stairs that lead to the ‘American Bar’, so called I suppose because it doesn’t exist, is the beauty salon/massage parlor. A pretty girl in a white and blue sweat-suit sits all day smoking and watching monkey god soap operas. I figured she was as qualified as anyone to cut my hair, so I enter and point to my locks, making a scissors motion with my fingers. She looks at me like I just asked her to perform brain surgery. She goes in the back room and returns with two other girls dressed in the same running outfits. They confer, look at some paperwork, hand me a list of services. In small print under the chinese the services were translated into English: Facial Peel, Shampoo and Tinting, Foot Massage w/Hrb, Dig Ears, Trim the Foot, Double Characteristic Massage, Boy Cut and Shampoo, Fog Rejuvenation, and Special Ladies Beauty. The only thing close to what I wanted was ‘Boy Cut with Shampoo’ I pointed to that and again to my hair - this time taking a long length of hair and making cutting gesture over and over again. They conferred again and called in a young man with spiked hair in jeans and a t-shirt. They went through the whole rigamarole again, pointing to the list again. I did my performance again. He points to the barber’s chair. I sit, he puts on a white lab coat and takes a pair of scissors out of a mini microwave oven. He gestures in a way that suggests, ‘how short?’. I clip my hair with my fingers just above the ear. O.K. down to business, he starts cutting away. My hair is still damp with sweat from my walkabout so I guess he needn’t wet it down. After doing the top and one side he gestures about the length, I gesture, ‘shorter’, and he goes on. I can tell he knows what he is doing so I relax and watch the adventures of the monkey god with the three girls. Finally he is done. I like the way it looks. I think it is a credit to him that he didn’t wet my hair down - I can walk out knowing just how it will look when it is kind of sweaty. I get up, smiling and giving the thumbs up. I look at the girls like, ‘what do you think?’, and they smile. So it’s just down to the bill. I know it’s not ‘Boys Cut with Shampoo’ so we consult the list again. He points to Fog Rejuvenation: 180 Yuan. I think that’s a fair price so I nod and take out 200 Yuan. He takes the money and gestures to me to go to the shampoo chair. I shake my head,’no’. He gestures to the barber’s chair. I’m like ready to leave but I nod yes, ‘haircut but no shampoo’. Then he gestures me to sit. So I sit in the barber’s chair. He brings over a vat of cream and scoops up a big blob of it in his hand, making like he was going to put it on my head. I figured this was the final step - a little hair gel to put everything in place and look like chairman Mao. So I acquiesce. He slavers the goo on, then goes back for more, and again. It’s like he is going to papermaché my head. I just roll with it. I’ve got goo in my ears, dripping down my forehead - clearly not ready to walk out in public. He consults with the girls for a moment and I squeeze my gooey hair into a faux mohawk as if to say, ‘what else can I do with this?’. He returns his attention to me and nervously smiles. The girls smile. He pulls out a roll of saran wrap and proceeds to wrap it around my head. O.K., I realize I asked for the Fog Rejuvenation instead of the bill. Sit back and enjoy it I say. Then he rolls over the hair-steaming maching and sets the bubble over my head and clicks on a timer. Steam starts flowing against my plastic wrapped hair. The room was already warm. I casually smoke about five or six cigarettes with ample time between each and watch the incomprehensible TV with everyone else. They all keep pace with my smoking, passing around a bic lighter. Twenty minutes or an hour later the machine makes a chime and turns off. No one notices but me. Awhile later, he unplugs the thing and rolls it away. he gestures to the shampoo station and I go there. He takes off the saran wrap and proceeds to wash the steamed goo out of my hair. Done. I look great and I feel great that it is done. He consults the list again and gives me a total: 180 Yuan for the Fog plus 40 Yuan for the Boy Cut = 220 Yuan. I give him 250 and wait for change. He gives me the change and I give it back to him with my palms together and a little bow. He and the girls seem suddenly very happy, their nervousness about cutting my hair evaporated like fog in the sun.